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satellite or GPS device to track her every move, presumably to determine whether or not she was cheating on him.

Apparently, the man was not as adept at covert GPS installation as he might have liked. He failed to hide the tracking device well enough, and before very long his wife discovered something suspicious in the carís trunk. The husband could not have foreseen that she would next call the police to investigate the situation.

There are several lessons we can all learn from this, not the least of which is that itís not always enough to save your receipt to return merchandise. The husbandís purchase of the GPS would be rather hard to reimburse after the device was blown up by a robotic police anti bomb unit.

Once apprehended by the authorities, the man pledged that in the future he would dampen his possessive ardor. He promised to return to simply going through his wifeís garbage, as well as phoning her in the middle of the night and hanging up on her.

GET THE DEVIL OUT OF DODGE

One Florida local government official had enough, and decided she was sick and tired of all the Goth attired teens, potheads and crackheads, and society in general going to hell in her town. So, appropriately enough, one Halloween eve, Mayor Carolyn Risher of Inglis, Florida crafted her own eviction notice for none other than Satan, himself. The proclamation read, ìBe it known from this day forward that Satan, ruler of darkness, giver of evil, destroyer of what is good and just, is not now, nor ever will be, a part of this town of Inglis ... In the past, Satan has caused division, animosity, hate, confusion, ungodly acts on our youth, and discord among our friends and loved ones. NO LONGER!

“We exercise our authority over the devil in Jesus’ name. By that authority, and through His Blessed Name, we command all satanic and demonic forces to cease their activities and depart the town of Inglis.”

The statement was reproduced on town stationary and posted in prominent places all over the town, just in case Satan was partial to just once section of the place and otherwise didnít get about much.